I carry a purse.

Hello again all!

Welcome back to the trials and turmoil of living in Japan.  I have a slew of new events to talk about today.  

First off I want to say thank you to all of my readers.  I just broke 1,200 blog view tonight.  That means I have wasted people's time over 1,200 times!  I couldn't be more happy to be the cause of so much lost production.  I have received nothing but good feed back about my posts, and I appreciate all of you very much.  This is my time to feel like I am back with my family and friends.  It means a lot for everyone that leaves a comment, and I want to start responding to them as soon as I figure out how to do that.  Please comment on and share this blog to whoever you want to.  It is my please to bring my troubles to your smiles.

Anyway... Where to begin.  

After my horrid garbage experience I have not asked to get a sheet of paper that tells me what day the trash comes, and what they will be taking when they arrive.  I have this new irrational fear of throwing things away.  Every time I hold something about the trash, I think.... "Will I have to touch this again?"  I have almost 4 trash cans under my table in my kitchen now, and a few loose bags hanging on the walls.  It looks like I'm some sort of hoarder, but I'm just trying to avoid unnecessary garbage contact. or (UGC's)

So my newest mission, was to return to the grocery store that I visited on my day of arrival.  I have no idea where it is.  I came last time at midnight, before I went to bed after being awake for close to 35 hours.  So I had a better chance of getting struck by lightning after winning the lottery on a blue moon day on February 30th.  (i.e. I have no idea where it was)

TO THE INTERNET! 

Ok... Not too bad...

Now I couldn't take my computer, so I resorted to the next best thing...  A crudely drawn map on the back of a piece of crumpled paper.

(Said map)

Looking at the internet I started to try and memorize my path.  This is the longest trek that I have yet to attempt during my present stay in Japan.  Will I be alright?  Will I get lost? "Will I hit that poor unsuspecting girl as she walks to the store to feed her sick aunt? Only time and pain will tell...

As I said I start trying to look for land marks on google.  The problem is, they are written in Japanese.  I have no idea what to look for... Ok, next best thing... Memorize how many intersections there are until I have to turn...

"OK...."

"Start off going due West..." (I had no idea what that really means so lets just say 'Left'"

"ok, So start off going left"

"Next... Turn right at the place that has all the vending machinges that I always pass when I am walking to my gas stating where I buy my questionable eats"

"After that pass over the train tracks (as depicted buy this dashed line)"

"Then turn left at the next major intersection"

"After that, I want to go until the fifth major intersection...."

-----"but what about that little neighborhood thing before that?"

"hmmmm...... Maybe... I can see.... if there is a... no.... there isn't anything around there...

"ok... well just remember there is a little road area into 5 major intersections...."

"After that... turn slightly to the right and go for 4 more intersections."

"DON'T COUNT THE RIGHT TURN INTERSECTION AS ONE OF THE 4!"

-----"Should I think about 5 intersections or 4???" "I'll just do 4 but remember to not count the first one."

"After that turn left.... and go for 2 blocks and I should be able to see it on my left"

OK!!!

"go left... take a right... over the tracks... next intersections turns left, go 5 blocks but don't count the little neighborhood area, and then take a slight right turn, and go 4 blocks, DO NOT COUNT THE INTERSECTION OF THE TURN AS ONE OF THE BLOCKS, turn left, then go 2 blocks and it will be on the left"

I repeated this over and over as I prepared for the journey.  I started to sound like "rain man" as I repeated a series of numbers and overly complicated directions and amendments to said directions. (Don't count that intersection... definitely don't count that intersection...) 

Crude map--> (check)

Water bottle--> (check)

Grocery List--> (check)

Piece of paper with my address written on it in the case that I get lost and have to ask some poor unsuspecting girl who is walking to the store to feed her sick aunt to give me directions home--> (check)

Book bag--> (check)

I was finally ready for the journey! That's when it hit me....

When I go to work... I carry a bag.

When I go to the store... I carry a bag.

When I venture to new places... I carry a bag.

As a matter of fact, it is easier to count the number of times that I don't have a bag, rather that the times that I have a bag... I hate to admit it... But I carry a purse.

It might not be the picture of a purse that everyone thinks.  To some it might even look like a book bag...  But it is the bag that I must have at all times to feel safe, and to be prepared for all events... In other words... My purse.

So I loaded my purse with all of my important things.  (I packed this bag as if I am going on a mission to the Sahara dessert) and walked outside to my bike...

I forgot the keys to my door

I returned inside.

I got my keys and returned to my bike.

I forgot the keys to my bike....

I returned inside.

 

I got my bike keys and returned to my bike.

I forgot my map on the table...

I returned inside.

I was rushing to get my map and wasn't thinking and waked into the low doorway again.

GOD DAMMIT! (If you stop thinking about it for a second you will hit your head)

OK!

I got on my bike and I set sail!

Down the road, turned right, over the tracks, pass the neighborhood, count to 5, DON'T COUNT THE INTERSECTION, count to 4, turn left...

and there she was!

I arrived with no problems.  

I did almost crash into someone riding their bike which I assumed they were on the wrong side of the road... but I have no idea because I live in Japan and everything here is crazy.

I walked inside...

Aisles and aisles of wonderful food, and SOOOO cheap!  

I could buy almost anything for less than a dollar.  

I spent about 5,000 yen on food that day, and I realized that I was going to be eating like a king on the salary I make per month.  I was able to buy some important things.  I didn't know a lot of spices so I didn't buy much of that, but I did buy one spice!!

Hello flavor town!  Population... Salt!

That's right.  I have salt now. No pepper.... Just salt.

I returned home and unpacked my food.  The rest of my day followed as regular.

The next day (today) was a pain not my best day in Japan...

It started off with a shower....

Now, if you remember from the video I posted (if you haven't watched it yet, please go watch it now before reading further) you will remember the part where I left the water heater on... I didn't know this was going to come back and affect me later in the week...

Well apparently, when you leave that thing on all night, it drains the oil in it...  When there is no oil... there is no hot water...

When did I figure this out you might ask???

I figured it out as I lathered up my entire body with soap and needed to rinse it off.

Next time you are taking a shower... Please try this... completely cover yourself in soap... then turn the water all the way to cold, and wait about 30 seconds...  Now try to finish taking a shower.

That was one of the worst experiences of my life...  Taking a shower and washing myself in what could have been water from the arctic.  Had I filled my tub with it, it would have been featured as the new fishing spot for Opilio Crab on the next episode of "The Deadliest Catch Dead of Winter" series.  It was COLD!

After my short trek through the frosty waters of the shower room, I got ready for work.

I left and got to class for a rather uneventful first few classes.

At the end of my 4th of 6 classes today, I was thirsty.  I walked over to the sink of the bathroom and started to fill my water bottle.

Now before I continue I need to clarify a few things.  I work at my boss's BOSS'S house... So when I am there I am trying not to get in the way and I am trying to be very polite.  I could go into detail but basically, people in Japan do not invite people to their homes usually... and if they do, it is usually in an outlying room of the house, and never really towards the center.  My classroom in the dead middle of this house and the bathroom where I was filling my water was from the main bathroom.  (by the way the water in this area is really clean so drinking out of the sink is totally fine).... Back to the story

So I am filling up my water bottle when I hear "Dan?"  It was my boss's boss!  I looked away from my bottle for A SECOND and disaster stuck.

The bottle overfilled and started spraying water all over the place.. When I tried to pull it out I went too fast and wedged it into the sink between the drain plug and the facet...  Water was literally spraying about 2 feet into the air in this bathroom which is in the main hallway of the house of my boss's boss.  I panic and just try to yank it out as hard as I can but it won't budge...

I finally turn off the water and I un-pry it from the sink... I hear the foot steps from my boss's boss coming toward the bathroom... 

My dear lord...

There is water EVERYWHERE! This super important person is walking toward me and I don't want to be caught with all this mess and me to blame...

WHAT TO DO!? It's my 4th day!!! This is bad.. This is really, really bad...

I grab a tissue...

A TISSUE!

of course that didn't help. All it did was melt in the pool of water all over the sink that way buy the way covering it in its entirety.  The toothbrush holder, the tissue box, the hand soap (the same kind as mine), the electric lamp, the hand towels...

THAT'S IT! THE HAND TOWELS!

I picked up a towel and started brushing all the loose water toward the sink it wasn't working at all... This was a mess and her tissue box was absorbing so much water it was changing colors and swelling up huge... "I'm dead..." I thought...

But I had a quick stroke of pure genius! I quickly hid the sopping towel behind my back and pretended to act like I was JUST about to start peeing.

I hoped this would make her want to leave quickly if I appeared that I might be in decent. She turned the corner and when she saw me she did the natural thing that anyone does when they might see someone's "inappropriate area"... SHE LOOKED UP!!! 

"Hello Dan!"

"Hello Ito Sensei!"

"Your next class will start 30 minutes early today because new students want to try your class"

"Wonderful! I will start preparing now"

"If you have questions, let me know!"

"Of course!"

IT WORKED!!

She walked away having not looked down to see the horror of the mess I made on her sink.  She was gone and I had a few precious moments to fix this mistake. 

I cleaned the mess with the already soaked towel and whipped off the mirror so it didn't look wet.  I cleaned the lamp and the soap and make sure the outlets were not wet.  The only think I had to fix was the tissue box that now resembled a pile of plaster on the counter top...  I opened the cabinet and looked for a new box.  SUCCESS! I found one.  Now what to do with this mess??? I can't throw it away because that leaves evidence...  I surly can't just place the newer box on the wet pile... What to do...

MY PURSE! 

I stuffed the nastiness into my purse and went along my way teaching.  2 hours later when I returned home, the mess in my purse had somewhat dried but it was still 50 shades of unpleasant.  

I cleaned it and set it aside for my next adventure. 

I tell you my friends... I never thought I would go from feeling so embarrassed of carrying a purse, to so glad for carrying a purse in under 48 hours in my entire life.

Until next time...