Sunday, July 7, 2013

One bug happy family!

One bug happy family!

WOW!  This one is late! My apologies!  I keep sitting down to write these and I either fall asleep or I get busy with other things.

So!  I have a number of short stories I want to share today.  Nothing really life changing has happened, but I have a multitude of little mishaps that have taken place recently

I will title them...

Ode to the Slob:
Now this is a story of the person that lived here before me.  I feel like I need to explain what has happened, but I want to do it by taking the role of the previous owner of this house, and narrate it through the assumed eyes of the person that lived here before... Let's begin.

"Wow this house it amazing!  Since I'm living in Japan I will really enjoy myself here!"

"I'll just wipe my makeup here under the sink EVERYDAY for the entirity of my stay... I'll let the next poor sucker that moves in here have to clean it while gagging at the months and months of caked on makeup that has now congealed to the rim of the wooden sick liner..."

"I hate cleaning things.... I guess I won't do it!"
 
"Wow... I really jammed this broken fan in this window... I bet it will take days for the next poor sap to un-jam this damn thing!"

"Wow these plants in my garden are really really beautiful, too bad I will NEVER CARE FOR THEM, and make the next person have to work all day for about 2 months to correct the mess I made"

"You know what else I don't like to do, clean the grease trap out of the stove... I guess I'll just jam a bunch of paper in here so it soaks it up and by the time I leave I won't have to clean it.  I'm sure the next person won't mind cleaning piles of horrid goop out of the stove again while gagging and eyes watering.  It shouldn't take him more than 3 hours to clean this and make his entire house smell like old burnt paper and grease for about 3 days."

"I think I will leave this sliding window cover open for about 3 months so a bird can nest here.  I bet the next guy will love the fact that there is a bird nest wedged WAAAAY in the back of the window so he can't quite close it all the way welcoming in all sorts of horribles"

"I don't want to sweep (repeated everyday)"

"I only broke the bed a little.  I'm sure he can fix it."

My message to the slob that lived here before me... Thank you for at least providing me with hours of activity.  Without you I might have been bored just sitting around when I was cleaning....



The song that never ends...
Since I have been living alone, I have needed to find ways to entertain myself constantly.  Living alone in a large home can be lonely and most of all... quiet.  So how do you change that??? you sing!!!  My medleys consist of "walking on sunshine" and my personaly favorite "John-Jacob-Jingleheimer-Schmit"

It is a resemblance to the movie "rocket man" where he spends hours and hours locked up in the ship training center.  I am sure my neighbors do not enjoy my bad singing, but I try to keep it quiet.


Japanese Bug Philosophy 
Well another one of my families from America came to visit a few weeks ago and we went to a small little cave.  It was rather enjoyable, but there is a problem with bugs there...  the problem being... there were bugs there.

To get to the cave, you had to walk down a small flight of stone steps and there was a door there leading to the entrance of the cave. (the door was set there to help control the bug problem).  When we reached the door, there was a leech hanging from the glass... It was at this point that I did not want to go into the cave anymore.  When there is already a LEECH on the inside of the glass... this seems like a bad idea. I was going to sit this trip out.  I didn't want to have to deal with all kinds of exotic bugs that might cause me to become infected with some kind of disease.  Ever since I had to deal with the Japanese Encephalitis experience written about earlier, every time I see a bug in Japan... I always wonder what the side effects of being bitten are 75% death?

When we finished walking though (the cave was very beautiful, by the way) we were walking under a low ceiling.  When I looked up, I realized that it was COVERED in huge roach/cricket looking insects about the size of a half dollar.  The kinds just laughed and ran out while me and the 2 moms looked at them and took some pictures of them.  (Because my camera sucks all of them are too blurry to show any...)

Afterwards we all sat down on the bench and the kinds played with bubbles.  While we were sitting there a spider crawled onto my hand and I jumped and flicked my hand, expelling the spider. Everyone laughed at me!  They said I overreacted for such a small spider, and proceeded to call me a baby (good friends right? feels just like home) I didn't think the spider was scary, I just didn't want it on me.  There are always mosquitoes and little flies in my house because I have to leave the windows open all the time.  Sometimes I find the occasional spider, and even more seldom, I find a more horrifying beast. So I have learned to just kind of deal with them. (Don't leave any food out, wash the dished right away, keep the trash bags covered)

(playing with bubbles!)


It was a moment later when the kids saw a cricket.  The boy jumped on it!  I was thinking he wanted to kill it, but I was mistaken.  He picked it up and was looking at it.  The mom was also very interested in it also.  The girl was screaming and running around.  Again I thought it was because she was afraid... but instead she was upset because she wanted a turn to hold the cricket!  I was amazed when she held it, she dropped it and tried to catch it right away.  After they played with the insect for a few minutes, they decided to walk over to a nice tree and put it on the branch.  

I realized now that bugs in Japan are just a regular thing.  Everyone deals with them.  I found out that bug collecting is also VERY popular.  Kids actually catch bugs and show them to their parents and then they keep them.  It was very surprising.  Not just small things like cricits, but huge beetles also.  The kids will come running in holding a beetle bigger than a golf ball and they will put it in a jar and keep it for weeks.

Speaking of massive beetles, I remember seeing on the discovery channel a long time ago a documentary about insects in Japan.  I remember there being a huge beetle with a horn on its face.  It was the strongest bug ever or something crazy.  I saw one.  I almost walked right into it.  

(I don't know it the picture gives it justice but it was the biggest bug I have ever seen.  The blue stripe next to it was about an inch thick. Hold up a ruler and look at an inch and realize this thing was almost 3 inches WIDE)


After I thought about someone actually picking this thing up with their bare hands and taking it home, I realized that I need to change how I think about bugs in Japan.  When I was doing gardening in Japan, I always kill bugs when I see them, it was after that day that I realized that they are a welcome guest here and some bugs actually represent good luck.  I don't think I should be going around smashing any luck that might come crawling my way.  

There was however... one bug that did not get away unscathed that crossed my path.  When the visiting family was first arriving that day, we were standing out side, and the craziest looking bee I have EVER seen flew by my face.  It was actually probably a wasp because it was slender and long.  This baby was about 2 inches long and I could actually SEE the stinger on the thorax.  It was about a centimeter long.  It looked like if I tied a needle to a toy helicopter and hovered it at nose level.  (horrifying).  So how did the big brave Dan protect his family and friends?  He took his shoe off and threw it at the bug (missing and almost hitting my neighbor who was gardening) and yelling "GET INSIDE, GET INSIDE!!!" after I realized that I pissed it off really bad.  

Usually when you scare a bee or wasp in America it will fly off.  Not Japanese wasps.  This thing got steamed up and started flying at me and everyone else.  The scary part was, it was so big, that you could actually see it shape itself into a "C" shape as it came flying at you with its stinger (or surgical needle) pointed at you.  Oh... but the even scarier part...  This thing had bright neon green eyes.  I'm certain that it would have killed me if it would have connected.  

So we are all now sitting huddled in my house watching the wasp/bee/horrible/demon fly around the shed that I store my bikes in. 

(this is where the beast was hiding)

I walked out after the coast was clear... but I saw another one by my bike... and then a second... and then a third.  It was at this point that I remembered how, years ago when I worked at a pool, it was places like this that were havens for bee and hornet nests and hives...  I slowly walked over... 

(god dammit... If you zoom in, look around the green bar and you will see the nest)

Not only was there one... there was a nest.... BY MY BIKES!  This cannot happen...  I had to take action.  After the family left, I went to the store and bought what I call...

(Old Glory)

This beast is guaranteed to take care of the problem... from 10 meters away!!

So I took care of it... No more bees.  



Plants and Eating them...
So. I was visited one Thursday morning by my boss.  She came over early and she was looking at my garden with me.  She asked if she could have some of the flowers that I was growing.  I of course offered her whatever she wanted.  I went inside and grabbed my knife.  She cut all kinds of things.  Some of them smelled SO good, and I was surprised to see how many things she wanted to take.  I didn't really think much about it for the time being.

Later that day she cooked me dinner...  She said she made tempura for me!  I was so excited to have some shrimp that night!!!

But what came out next surprised me beyond words.  She had actually breaded and fried all the flowers and plants that she cut right out of my garden!!!  She said she wanted to give me some food that I helped grow.  I could not believe it.  I asked if it was ok to eat, and she assured me, so I tried it.

IT WAS DELICIOUS!!! I want to go and find some things to eat out of my garden now.  That day for dinner I had all the plants that were from my garden, and a cup of tea made from one of the roses that she cut from my rose bush.  Delicious!

I could not believe that I was really eating plants from my freaking garden!  I was used to eating VEGETABLES from my garden in America, but never just leaves and flowers and such!

Matter of fact... I might go make more of that tempura tonight for dinner!  It was so good!


The Flowers...
A few days ago, I was caring for my garden when I realized that I would like to try and grow some flowers.  I have never had any luck with flowers, so I wanted to give it a try.  All of my neighbors houses are really really beautiful with flowers, and I think I will save my money during the winter season to try and buy a butt load of flowers next spring.  

I was walking to the store, when I saw me neighbor come out of her home and start watering her garden.  I was so envious of her beautiful home.  I told her I liked her garden and I asked her were they sell flowers.  I was planning on buying some that day and just planting some "already started" plants just to water and feed for a few days.  

She at that moment reached down and dug up 2 flowers and put them right into my hands.  She just took a shovel and dug deep into the soil and pulled them right up!! I thanked her greatly and ran to my backyard and started to dig a hole for them with my bare hands in the soil.

I heard someone coming over and I knew it was the older lady.  I was going to say thank you again for the flowers.  When I turned around she was there holding another flower!  

(I planted my 3 flowers)

She saw me digging in the dirt with my bare hands and said that she has an extra spade.  She ran over and come back with it before I could tell here that was not necessary!  But did she come back with more than just 1 spade??  NO!

(She also brought another plant, but this one in a little vase)

I was speechless!  I had no idea how to say thank you.  She smiled and returned home.. I was just finishing up taking pictures of my new garden when....

(she brought me 2 more!!!!)

Every time I turned away from this lady, she was bringing me more flowers.  She was digging them out of her garden and giving them to me!!!  I could not believe this!!!!!!!!

Now I had my flower garden AND a spade to go with it!  I could actually do some work now.  When I visit Tokyo this month, I think I will buy her a gift.






Overall my life is going very well.  I think I like it here very very much.  I don't see myself working in any other country than this one from now on I do believe.  

Until next time!  Stay tuned in and keep checking back!  I should have some more things up as soon as I have time!

PS.. I just hit my 3,000th page view.  THANK YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE THAT ARE FOLLOWING ME AND WATCHING WHAT I DO!! It is because of all of you that I will keep this blog going and I will pick up the pace also with it now too.  Please share it with anyone you would like :)







4 comments:

  1. I so love these stories. It's like you are here. I can tell cause I have tears running down my face from LAUGHING. I love you tons and love all the skyping we have been doing. You are amazing

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  2. Haha this is great Dan!!! I miss you but I'm so glad you have been semi adopted by everyone you meet lol
    Love the rocket man reference lol
    Skype me soon!!!

    Love,
    Your fat sister ��

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  3. You're underselling visiting Japan with these horrible bug stories....we'll come in the winter.

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  4. Well now you can recall my efforts to swat bees with wood (and run when you miss). Had to laugh now that you live it!!

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